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Blue's Diary

Below follows an IN-CHARACTER autobiography of Blue.

So you're really interested in hearing my life story? You might be bored by its lack of gore and adventure, I'm really quite an average peace-loving elf. That's largely the influence of my husband, but also because I'm a psionic. I wasn't always this way, though. In my youth I was a very careless and ignorant person.

I was born on the on the the 1st day in the month of the Lizard, 229 AF. I don't remember my birth, but I do faintly remember my mother. I believe she was very beautiful and kind, but as things go, most people believe their mothers are very beautiful and kind. Shortly after my birth, I was separated from my parents for reasons that I still don't know. It was a time of chaos, and I wound up being raised by the orphanage of Rokoon. The priests there were nice enough to me, protecting me while I was growing, but I really chafed under the strict religious teachings of Rokoon. I was always getting into trouble for making mischief with the other children. I guess part of my nature arose from the discontent of being told nothing of my parents but that they were dead, never any whys or hows.

Around my 14th year I was adopted by my Uncle, a kindly old man who lived in Elohim and taught me about the great adventures waiting for me in the world. Though his heart was big, his wallet was small, and soon I noticed that I was too much of a burden for him to support. He never had the heart to say this to me, though, so in my 19th year I made the decision to run away to Padorn to start my own life.

Having lived in poverty for so long, I promised myself that I would become one of the richest elves in the city, no matter how hard it might be. I was fortunate enough to run into a friendly elf early on who introduced me to the Padorn Pickpockets, which became my very first guild. There my life as Blue ended and Rosencrantz, my thief persona, was born.

My days as Rosencrantz were wild, full of mischief and fun. I loved to make trouble, as long as it didn't hurt anyone (though I did quite often end up giving myself new scars). I met quite a lot of people who I still consider good friends to this day, most notably my husband Lawrence. He caught me stealing some coins from his pocket and decided not to let me go, and so on the 1st day of the Yeti, 250 AF I became "the blue rose of a red angel."

Married life changed me for the better. I managed to forget most of the discontent of not knowing my parents. In other words, I became a lot less of a troublemaker, perhaps because of the time I had to spend teaching my husband how to speak the common tongue. The only thing notable that happened to me was getting my head stuck on a pole by a priestess of hulk, but they say that no one can avoid their 15 minutes of fame... not even if you want to! I also did a very shameful thing in these years, which only recently I've come to terms with. After some years, I came to realize that I would have to chose between staying with my husband or my guild..and so, sadly, I left my brothers and sisters to start a new life as a psionic.

My life with the psionics was good, I was happy to be with my husband and content to spend my days meditating and learning about neutrality. I really began to appreciate the psionic way of life as I learned more about it, especially the peaceful and meditative atmosphere the guild provided.

But one thing remained unanswered for me, the question of who my parents were, and what happened to them. I had given up any hope of finding clues to my past, and believed I would never really know the truth about myself.

This all changed, however, one afternoon as I was strolling through Atlantis. I was going about my business as usual when I ran into an older, familiar-looking elf. As I stared at his dark eyes and weathered features, I realized that I was looking at the mirror image of myself! This man could only be one person, my very own father. He did not recognize me either, but we both sensed that there was something familiar between us and decided to meet and discuss our past. As I learned more about this mysterious elf, Nazgul, it became clear that something terrible and dark had happened in his past, something that caused him to lose his memory. All that he could tell me of the mystery was a strange poem, which I still know by heart to this day:

Ash nazg durbatuluk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatuluk, agh bursum ishi krimpatul

As I talked with him, my father slowly began to regain his memory. He hadn't known that he had a daughter, as the time of chaos during which he lost his memories occurred before I was born. But together, we began to piece together our lives, and more importantly, my mother. She was beautiful, with eyes and hair as dark as the evening sky, and a voice which sang as sweetly as water rolling off a brook. But my father couldn't tell me what became of her after he lost his memory; perhaps the grief of losing him had been too much for her to bear. She left me with the orphanage of Rokoon, most likely believing that it would be best for me to be raised by the priests there.

Recently, I've discovered what happened to my mother after she me at the orphanage. Though I can only guess at her motivations, I think that she wanted to put her old life behind her and start afresh. Maybe I looked too much like my father for her to be able to continue. She moved to Padorn, where she met a kind bard, whom she fell in love with and married. With him, she had a child, and lived for the rest of her days in peace.

Though I'm sad that I never realized my dream of meeting her face to face, perhaps it's for the best.. I wouldn't have wanted to cause her any more pain. And at last, knowing that she had a good life and a caring husband, I can let go of the search for my mother. And there is the matter of my half-brother, Blues Culver. Though I've lost a mother, I've also gained a brother, and to finally have a real family, I feel complete and at peace. Someday, I hope to discover what really happened to my father, but finding my mother has brought a sense of conclusion to this personal quest.

Since then, other things have happened in my life as well. I spent some time briefly as chief editor for Padernews, the main newspaper of Primordia. I'm proud to say, the formerly dead paper had quite a revival while I was editing, however, I didn't have the time for the intensive research it constantly called for and had to resign from the position. I also spent some time as the elected as the judge of Padorn. It was quite a job, and I hope that I spent my time as a judge acting responsibly. More recently, I've become an active follower of the Goddess Selyra, and I spend my time trying to spread her message of love and tolerance to those around me.

On a sadder note, my foster Uncle finally passed away after many years. He was a kind man, but I'm no longer the same little girl he raised, with a family of my own -- it's now the time for me to take his place, as a mentor and guide for younger generations who need help, just as he helped me. We buried him in Foray, so that he could always be close to the heavens.

I also have had several people ask me, "Why do you call yourself Blue Du'Sonsa?" Granted, it is a very odd name for an elf. Blue is, after all, a color. Basically, when I was brought up in the orphanage, I had no name. The priests there asked me what I would like to be known by, when I was very little. Being young and impetuous even then, I only took a moment to think about it, before deciding that the only name I would stand to be known by was the prettiest thing I could think of: the colour blue. As for my last name, it's based on the old Koyukon word for luck, something which I have always had a great deal of in my life. The word, "dotson'sa," also stands for the Raven, believed to be the creator of the world by these peoples. The name was corrupted in elvish translation, however, and thus, I am now known as Blue Du'Sonsa.

On a more recent note, I have finally given up my hold on the world of politics, and retired from the service of the city of Padorn. The face of the city has changed greatly since I was a young girl, and the ties that once held me there no longer exist. In a way, it saddened me greatly, because Padorn had always been my home for as long as I could remember. Still, time does not stand still, and we must change and grow with it.

And that is the story of my life to my 60th year. I'm still a member of the Psionics, still faithfully married to my husband of almost 40 years, and as always, sticking my nose into business where it should not be. My current passions are research, archeology, improving the legal system, and dabbling in art. Perhaps we will meet on the fair world of Xyllomer; stop by our house and I'll be happy to exchange greetings and ideas, or maybe just philosophize over a warm cup of tea.

All content © 1996-2006 Nicole Wehmann